Things are going super good where I currently work, coaching debate. I got three new students today who want to join the team, and the energy level is high as we prepare for our parent showcase night later this semester. I'm not having any more attendance problems at practice, and my girls are doing a great job planning the menu for showcase. I'm trying to finish out the semester strong, because in the back of my mind, I know every practice is one closer to our last.
This debate program at my school is kind of like my baby. I built it from the ground up with the help of some special and dedicated students, and for being in its second year, I think it's a fine program. Passing it off to someone else will be one of the harder things I've had to do.
The thing is that I love my job, and I love my kids to distraction. Seriously, I scoffed at the kind of the unconditional love I had only seen in sappy teacher movies until I started coaching this team. I would do anything to ensure my students' success and well-being, and watching them bloom into confident, intelligent young people makes my heart just about burst with pride. I have a supportive group of administrators and parents, and a great classroom space.
The reason I can't stay is this: I think every child deserves the same opportunities that my kids enjoy.
I am so happy that most of my kids can go to sleep every night and wake up every morning in security. I'm so happy that very few of them want for anything. It is a relief to know that each of my students are college-bound, if that's what they choose. I'm glad the vast, vast majority of my students have never been victims of racism or poverty. My students are blessed, and I'm blessed to have spent the past two years coaching them. Mostly because I know any teacher or debate educator would love to be in my shoes, working in a private academy where funding is a nonissue and when you ask parents to jump, they say "how high?"
I feel confident that, as close as I've grown to my debaters and as much as I feel uniquely responsible for their speech and debate educations, another excellent coach and educator can, and will, pick up right where I left off. Teaching in a school like mine is a dream, but I don't know if it's mine.
Mississippi is experiencing a massive teacher shortage right now. There's more teachers moving out than coming in. Where there's a dozen others right behind me at my current school, I feel like Mississippi is a place where I can put my talents to work in a meaningful way.
I probably can't single-handedly dismantle poverty and systemic racism, but I can make my classroom a safe space for the students who face these on a daily basis. I can't follow my kids home and make sure they're safe, warm, and have enough to eat, but I can surround them in support and positivity for the fifty minutes I see them five days a week. At the very least, I know for sure that wherever I go, a damn good debate program will follow.
Maybe I'm crazy for leaving my comfortable job, but it feels good. This decision feels exhilarating and completely right.
I will always be grateful to my current students, their parents, my office support staff, and my administrators for showing me what education needs to look like for every child. Maybe one day I will end up back in a private school. Burn-out statistics don't just apply to teachers who leave the profession entirely. There's a whole other set of statistics for teachers who can't make it in Title I schools. I read a scary blog post just this morning from a teacher whose health has been in a downward spiral because of the stress levels she suffers on a daily basis. It's not easy, what we're tasked with, but it's worth it.
-Love, Linds
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